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ain’t no princess at all

May 11, 2009

you ain’t no princess, woman.
you and your manipulative ego are just a mankind’s manifestation.

you put your standards too high, woman.
to protect yourself, of course.
but also drag you away from the real world.

you ain’t living a fairytale, woman.
life is a game we play, and you may lose.
i bet you know it for sure.
that’s why you cant stand losing.

your arrogant independence is just your disguise of incapability.
still you hate to admit that your independence is miserable.
seem to be proud of walking down the road on your own.

yet you still cry for those times.

you ain’t no princess, woman.
the world ain’t gonna go around the way you want it to be.
none would always obey yourself.
none would always adore yourself.

there will be the dark times for us, woman.
you have to learn putting yourself together when things go wrong.

there won’t be a prince coming for you, woman.
not until you let them coming closer to you.
not until you free yourself.

it’s ok to let everything goes its own way, woman.
you dont have to always have rule for them.
you dont have to always have control on anything.
it’s ok to lose it sometimes.

you ain’t no princess, woman.
you must not be resistant to people-says.

look at yourself now, woman.
and stop faking.

h1

look, the new day has begun…

October 10, 2008

Aku jatuh tertegun saat melihat sosok itu.
Sosok yang sepertinya kukenal, jauh sebelum aku bertatap pandang dengannya.
Kubalas senyum ramahnya dengan seulas yang sama di bibirku.
Sepertinya aku benar‐benar mengenalnya.
Sepertinya aku pernah mengenalnya di kehidupan yang lain.

Dalam diamku,
sontak aku merasakan hatiku mulai berteriak ceria.

Sambut aku, dunia..!
Aku telah kembali….

Wahai sang sosok engkau,
Siapa pun dirimu,
Terima kasih, kau telah membuatku tersenyum kembali.
Terima kasih, kau telah membawaku kembali menuju mentari.

Sambut aku, dunia..!
Aku siap memulai kembali semuanya…

Look, the new day has begun!

Sunday, October 05, 2008
3:02 AM

h1

goodnight and go

October 10, 2008

“Why do you have to be so cute
It’s impossible to ignore you
Must you make me love so much
It’s bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go…”
(imogen heap)

So here I am,
Looking for a perfect runaway…
I don’t know what will I do
Or which road to take…
I’m just running…
Yes, for once more,
I’m running…
From each pain I feel inside,
From the insecurity
Why cant I be thankful for the life I’ve had?
Why should I always ask for more?

bandung.17.06.08
09.45 pm

h1

semalam tadi aku bermimpi …

October 10, 2008

Semalam tadi aku bermimpi
Cukup ganjil rasanya mimpi itu
Tapi terasa cukup nyata bagiku…

Semalam tadi aku bermimpi,
Aku menemukan seorang yang kucinta
(tentunya seorang pria fiktif yang belum kutemui di dunia nyata)
Aku menemukannya begitu saja di antara
kerumunan orang yang ada di sekitarku
Aku menemukannya begitu saja, seolah
Aku sudah mengenalnya selama jutaan tahun.

Semalam tadi aku bermimpi,
Aku menemukan seorang yang terkasih.
Seorang yang sontak membuatku merindu
Rasanya disayangi seperti itu;
Rasanya dikasihi layaknya itu;
Rasanya diingini semacam itu…

Seorang yang membuatku teringat rasanya mencinta…
Seorang yang membuatku teringat indahnya merindu…

Semalam tadi aku bermimpi,
Aku menemukan seorang yang terkasih.
Yang menuntunku kala gelap menyelimuti,
Yang mendekapku kala aral menghadang.
Mendekapku erat, dekat di dirinya,
Agar aku teramankan dari segala bahaya,
Agar aku terlindung dari dingin dunia.

Semalam tadi aku bermimpi,
Aku menemukan seorang yang terkasih.
Didekapnya aku erat dan mesra,
Seolah enggan melepasku pergi…

Hingga saat ku terbangun
Masih kurasakan hangat erat dekapnya..

Hingga saat kuterbangun, aku merindu dirinya…

Wednesday, July 09, 2008
11:28 AM

h1

untitled

October 10, 2008

Salahkan diriku jika kini kutangisi juga dirinya?
Dengar! Bahkan langit pun menangis bersamaku…
Salahkan juka kini kutrangisi kebodohanku?
Jika kutangisi diriku sendiri,
Yang tak kunjung bergerak dari titik terendahku….

Sebuah film baru saja berlalu…

Ujarnya,

“ada 2 jenis tokoh dalam sebuah film : tokoh utama, dan sahabat.
engkau adalah seorang tokoh utama,
maka berhentilah berlaku selayaknya seorang sahabat…!!”
Maknailah sendiri..
Aku enggan menulisnya…

Adakah seseorang di sana?
Rasanya aku mulai memerlukan sedikit bantuan…
Aku telah terjatuh dalam dan lama hingga aku lupa warna mentari…
Rasanya aku butuh bantuan untuk kembali berdiri dan berjalan…

Would you walk with me? :)

Bandung, 27juni08
1150am

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chatters

October 10, 2008

I’ve been thinking and questioning myself lately.
Have I taken a too‐long‐break?
Have had an oversized‐room to breath?

Did I stopped by my fears?
Do I afraid to move along & face the life?

Well, that’s quite intriguing actually…
I really do hope I have enough courage to answer all that.

Yes, I got afraid.
I am afraid.
And it seems like I’m running away from the reality.
Though I know that life is real, it’s hard for me to throw the fantasies away…

Yes,
I am running.
I don’t even know what to do, though.
I am bored with such situation and I need something new.
Like, a brand new life, maybe???
Or what about a re‐birth?!…

But, hey…!
Guess I’m not that desperate…
I’m just tired doing whatever I like…
I want to do whatever I have to do…
But where’s the fun then, anyway?!

Maybe I should’ve stop seeing the world as a black‐and‐white movie scene.
Yet, I know for sure that it’s colorful enough for me to see.

<sighs…>
I don’t even know what I’m talking about now.
I should’ve stop chattering around.

h1

terlalu cepat beranjak

October 10, 2008

Rasanya Sang Hari terlalu cepat beranjak…

Tinggalkan penat yang belum sempat kuregang,
Sisakan tangis yang belum lagi kuseka
Redakan amarah yang sempat terusik.

… dan ribuan kata di ujung lidah kembali tertelan

tak sempat terucap,
urung terungkap,
enggan menghujat.

… dan butiran tangis sempat terisak

kembali teredam
memenuhi sudut sukma
tentang benci dan penat.

Memagut dendam dalam rasa

Rasanya Sang Hari terlalu cepat beranjak

Tinggalkan aku kembali di lorong keentahan,
Terduduk bersama asa segenggam..

Nantikan hari lain yang segera datang…

bandung, 19 april 2004

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why does it hurt so bad ‐ whitney houston

October 10, 2008

Why does it hurt so bad?
Why do I feel so sad?
Thought I was over you
But I keep crying
When I don’t love you
So why does it hurt so bad
I thought I had let you go
So, why does it hurt me so
I got to get you out of my head
It hurts so bad

My life’s been better since the day I left you boy
I must admit life’s been kind to me
I went and did the things I said I would do boy
I found someone who loves me for me
Haven’t had much drama since the day that we split boy
My hearts never been more at ease
And when I think of all the things you put me thru
Leaving you has been the best thing for me

Never again that’s what I said to myself
I never want to feel your kind of pain again boy
Just when I think its over
Just when I think its thru
I find myself right back in love with you